Inspiration from Alan Watts, Julie Dhar, Seneca, and More!

Once a month (or so), I share a dozen things that have inspired me to greater personal, professional, and financial success in my life. I hope they bring similar success to your life.

1. Thomas Henry Huxley on the things we must do

“The most valuable of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do, when it has to be done, whether you like it or not.” – Aldous Huxley

If we want to have any kind of success in life, there are tasks that we don’t particularly want to do that have to be done, often at times when we really don’t want to do them.

Sarah and I both dream of financial independence, but achieving that takes a lot of hard work. It means that there are times when I’d definitely rather do something else for various reasons, but I choose the financially stable path.

I want to be the best parent I can be, and doing that takes a lot of work. It also means that there are times when I’d definitely rather be doing something else, but I choose to focus on my children.

It’s hard. It’s the hard part of personal finance success. It’s the hard part of parenting success. It’s the hard part of marital success.

The things you need to do to succeed in life aren’t complicated. They’re just hard to do. Getting yourself to do them instead of the easier and more momentarily enjoyable thing is the real challenge.

2. J. Marshall Shepherd on three kinds of bias that shape your worldview

From the description:

Some days, it feels like the only thing we can agree on is that we can’t agree — on anything. Drawing on her background as a world debate champion, Julia Dhar offers three techniques to reshape the way we talk to each other so we can start disagreeing productively and finding common ground — over family dinners, during work meetings and in our national conversations.

I think her tips really boil down to one thing: listen without formulating a response; rather, listen with the purpose of sincerely understanding their point. There is almost no conversation with opposing points of view that doesn’t go better if you do that.

If someone says something you strongly disagree with, throwing up your hands and walking away won’t make things better, nor will aggressive debate. Rather, listen to the person. Ask why they feel that way. Let that person explain what their train of thought is and listen, not just for ways to cut it down, but so that you understand it better.

Not only will this let you find areas of common ground, it’s also going to open the window to that person affording you the same respect later in the conversation or else looking really bad to bystanders.

Slow down. Listen. Don’t assume other people are morally broken or are bad actors. Try to understand their train of thought, and ask polite questions if you don’t understand. You’ll likely find that you agree on more than you think and that your views differ less than you think.

10. Miyamoto Musashi on truth

“Truth is not what you want it to be; it is what it is, and you must bend to its power or live a lie.” – Miyamoto Music

One interesting thing I’ve found as I grow older is that my mind doesn’t store memories perfectly – in fact, it does a pretty slipshod job of it. I tend to remember things in a way that makes the most sense, but that often turns memories into a collage which doesn’t represent anything perfectly well.

It’s dangerous to make big judgments based on those memories. I’ve learned that for important things, I really need to rely on external facts and numbers and data. If I trust those memories fully, I almost always end up making mistakes.

One of the biggest flaws I had when I was younger was an innate trust of my own memories. I could recall things quickly and put things together quickly, but I was actually making collages and then relying on those as though they were true. I’m now much more careful about relying on verifiable things.

11. Stretching

This might sound completely strange, but it’s been a big thing for me lately.

For about ten minutes after I wake up in the morning, I spend time stretching. I do my own thing – I don’t really follow any sort of set routine – but I have about fifteen stretches I do for about thirty seconds each, and with about ten seconds to switch positions, that adds up to about ten minutes. The closest one I’ve found to what I do is this video. I do several of the same stretches, but hold them for a bit longer than he does.

My original goal in doing this was to simply start kicking higher. I started doing taekwondo with my family through a program sponsored by our local parks and recreation department. Part of taekwondo is repeated kicking, and as you advance, the kicks need to get gradually higher and higher. I started stretching mostly to aid with that.

However, I found that about ten minutes of stretching right when I get up, drinking some water beforehand and then drinking some more water right after it, makes me feel really good to start the day. I’ve found that if I do vigorous exercise in the morning, I wind up feeling really sleepy mid-day, but if I stretch, I feel good all morning and also don’t feel like I hit a wall after lunch. I usually do it while listening to a podcast or an audiobook, so I’m waking up my mind, too.

Give it a try. Find a few stretches to do when you first get up. This isn’t high intensity stuff – just find things that feel like you’re stretching out various parts of your body. You’ll feel good afterwards, I promise.

12. Anthony Bourdain on impressions

“It makes a difference if you walk in the door saying, ‘I’m going to love it here,’ or you walk in the door saying, ‘This place is going to suck.’” — Anthony Bourdain

I could write an entire article on this quote – and, honestly, I probably will someday.

The way you feel about almost anything you do in life is set by how you choose to feel about it as you’re getting ready to do it.

If you’re about to exercise and all you can think about is how terrible it’s going to be, it’s going to be terrible. If you consciously choose to think about how good you’re going to feel during it and afterwards, it’s going to go well.

If you’re about to try a new food and you’ve already decided it’s going to taste bad, it’s going to taste bad. If you decide that it’s going to taste good, it’s probably going to taste good unless it really really hits a flavor you don’t like.

It’s true when you meet people. It’s true when you read a book. It’s true when you walk into someone’s house. If you choose to look for negatives and have a negative first impression, the experience is going to be miserable. If you choose to look for positives and try to have a positive first impression, it’s going to be pretty good most of the time. The choice is up to you.

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