An open letter from the dude at the party who is just kinda hanging out in the kitchen by himself right now

Hey guys, it’s me. The dude who is just kinda hanging in the kitchen by himself right now. I've been in here for so long now that if I even tried to rejoin the party at this point it would just be extremely weird.

Trust me, I wish I wasn't in here, too. This really sucks and I don't know what to do.

SEE ALSO: A personal thank you to the people who Snapchat their entire concert experience

You might’ve met me briefly in some sort of strangely forced introduction that neither of us wanted to partake in. I’m Luke’s coworker from three jobs ago. I'm only here because I ran into Luke at the grocery store last week and he begged me to come. Our mutual friend Andrea was supposed to come, too, but she bailed at the last minute. So I actually don’t know anyone here besides Luke, and I barely know him in the first place. I retreated to the kitchen for a temporary respite from the party, but for some baffling reason, I am still in here.  Read more...

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