Glennon Doyle's memoir 'Untamed' had helped me embrace some major changes in my life — here's why I recommend reading it, even though it's been years since it first published
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- "Untamed" is Glennon Doyle's third memoir and has been a bestseller since it came out in 2020.
- It reads like a self-help book and I still think of Doyle's advice often.
- Here are three reasons I recommend this book, from Doyle's writing style to the advice itself.
I enjoy reading self-help books and memoirs, but very few have stayed with me after I turned the final pageー until I read "Untamed" by Glennon Doyle.
My long-anticipated library copy of "Untamed" came to me at a very uncertain time of my life. I was just months away from changing careers, moving across the country, and marrying my spouse. It felt like I was starting over and to be honest, I was terrified.
I opened "Untamed" without knowing who Glennon Doyle was or knowing what this book would hold for me. What I found was the unflinchingly honest story of a woman allowing herself to be free, told through deeply personal anecdotes and snippets of wisdom that I still think about today.
"Untamed" was released in March 2020 but is still ranking on Amazon's bestseller list, was one of the most-read books on Goodreads last year, and is one of Libro.fm's bestselling audiobooks of all time. None of this comes as a surprise to me, as I've gone back to this memoir many times since I first read it, highlighting new passages each time.
Here are three reasons "Untamed" has resonated with me for years:
1. It's more of a self-help book than a memoir.
The first part of "Untamed" makes a case for how we are born into society's metaphorical cages that teach us how to act, what to say, who to love, and who to be.
We are taught to be quiet, stifle our emotions, dream realistically, and fit the status quo, but many of these cages keep us from ever truly knowing ourselves or living freely, offering instead a life of elusive discontent that we avoid by drinking, convincing ourselves that "good enough" is good enough, or simply never looking straight at our problems because they're too much to bear.
In part two, Doyle offers four keys to unlocking these cages: Feel It All, Be Still And Know, Dare to Imagine, and Build and Burn. These essentially translate to: Feelings are meant to be felt, you need to trust yourself, discontent is a sign you're in the wrong place, and new construction can only come from deconstruction.
As Doyle identifies these keys, it's as if she's putting words to all the fears we have about what lies just beyond our reach, whether that's sobriety or a new career or leaving a stable but dissatisfying relationship.
Change is hard, full of unknowns, and absolutely scary. Reading about these cages and the keys helped me identify exactly what was challenging about my upcoming changes. Leaving my career in the military to pursue writing meant listening to my heart when it told me I was in the wrong place. Defending that decision to others was its own battle, especially when I wasn't sure it would actually work out.
Doyle's "keys" helped me see that the discontent I felt was not something to be ignored. It was the embers of a fire I needed to fan, not stamp out.
2. Doyle articulates her advice in a profound and memorable way.
Doyle's chapters about her four keys resonate with me the most, but almost every chapter has a small or profound lesson to share, from insight into how we mentally cage young boys just as much as young girls to the acceptance that faith has many forms and changes throughout our lives.
Making monumental life changes meant I've felt (and still feel) a lot of doubt, but whenever I re-open "Untamed," I feel grounded again. By revisiting Doyle's words, I'm reminded of the path I want to be on and that I have the power to take myself to where I want to be.
It's made me feel like walking away from my old life was okay, because it meant I was headed toward something better.
3. Doyle's story is unique, but nearly every reader can see themselves reflected in it.
In Glennon Doyle's second memoir "Love Warrior," she chronicles how her husband's infidelity brought out the warrior in her. On that very book tour, she announced she was leaving him for Abby Wambach, a now-retired American soccer player.
This memoir isn't so much about Doyle discovering that she was queer, but how allowing herself to fall in love with Abby was one of the many ways she freed herself from her cages. She also talks about her journeys with sobriety, eating disorders, parenthood, and friendship, tying each of them back to the lessons she's learned about being free and authentic.
There are a few cheesy anecdotes that are certainly skewed by Doyle's occasional rose-colored glasses, but they are few and far between. But overall, Doyle has an amazing way of drawing you in with her vulnerability, letting readers get lost in her stories and feel like the advice is specifically meant for them. It helps readers like myself see how her advice can apply to our own situations and empower us to reach for our own authentic lives, no matter how imperfect the journey may be.
The bottom line:
"Untamed" has a message for everyone and I continue to find Glennon Doyle's advice ringing true in my own life again and again. This book is for anyone who feels a gnawing discontent and is looking for a way forward, but I would recommend it to anyone who is looking to ground themselves and live a more authentic life.
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