Pizza Hut vs. Domino's vs. Papa John's: Trash Pizza, ranked

You can learn a lot about a person based on where they fall in life's big debates: Coke vs. Pepsi, Triscuit vs. Wheat Thins, Taylor Swift vs. Katy Perry.

But there is one question that is perhaps the most decisive, the most controversial, the most revealing of what type of person you are: What is your favorite Trash Pizza?

Let's get this out of the way — pizza is a gotdamn national treasure.

If I had a Personal Brand™, it would be pizza. I frequently wear a pizza sweater, which matches my pizza bow tie, which matches my "pizza fund" change jar on my desk at work, which one time, I cashed out and got $71 for pizza. Every year for Christmas I ask for "pizza and/or pizza related items," which is how I now have a pizza-shaped phone charger. And I used to have a Friday night ritual where I would grab a bottle of wine, a book, and eat a whole pizza by myself in bed while reading. (Helpful tips for how you too can live your best pizza life here.) Read more...