10 Foods That Are Just As Addictive As Drugs (If Not More)

Guys, drugs are bad, okay? They make you see terrifying things like babies crawling on the ceiling like in the movie Trainspotting. Seriously, don’t Google “meth addict before and after” unless you want to have nightmares tonight. Instead, you should stick to delightful things like cheese, coffee and cookies. They’re not addictive at all. Wait, our fact checker just shook his head. Turns out, there are plenty of things that are just as addictive as drugs, if not more. With that, let’s take a mournful a look at 10 such foods.

1. Cheese
Have you ever taken block of cheese out of the fridge with the intention of only eating a couple of slices, but then said “screw it” and ate the whole thing? Tell the truth, son. There are scientific reasons why we can’t stop eating slice after slice of pizza.

The chief culprit: Casomorphins. This sounds like a good name for an alt-rock band, but it’s actually a chemical found in cheese that produces effects similar to morphine and heroin. We aren’t saying eating cheese will turn you into a crackhead, although you might become a Green Bay Packers fan, which we can all agree is just as bad.

2. Chocolate
You’re certainly familiar with the dessert “death by chocolate” but did you know that this is also a medical condition? Okay, we’re lying. Chocolate is perfectly awesome, but it also contains a whole lot of things that make us crave the hell out of it.

The chief culprit: Where to start? Aside from the wonderful fat, caffeine and sugar, chocolate also contains theobromine, a stimulant that expands blood vessels and triggers a drop in heart rate, resulting in the same relaxed feeling that your stoner roommate Frogger has, like, all the time.

3. Meat
Life would be amazing if the only thing we ate, drank and wore was meat. Or would it? Turns out, while meat is full of protein, amino acids and all sorts of other good nutrients that our muscles need, it also has addictive properties.

The chief culprit: Hypoxanthine. This is a caffeine-like stimulate that makes us satisfied and also makes us crave more meat. Ever see customers at a vegetarian restaurant sitting in the corner of the room shaking and muttering to themselves because none of the dishes contain meat? Okay, we haven’t either. But people who haven’t eaten meat in a while really can suffer from withdrawal. In addition, it is possible to build up tolerance levels to hypoxanthine, which means you would need to eat more meat to maintain the same level of satisfaction.

4. Soda
Shocked that soda made this list? Yeah, so were we. We had put high fructose corn syrup water right up there with broccoli in terms of healthy food choices until we discovered the real facts. Oh, and if you think diet sodas are the answer, the science is basically laughing at your face.

The chief culprit: Caffeine… it’s all about caffeine addiction. And the solution is to either stop drinking soda, or barricade the front door after a paranoid-stricken caffeine fit. I personally like that second option myself.